Howdy folks, it’s Mr Chowski back with another important broadcast. Now, I know I’m supposed to be reporting on how the preparations upstairs are going, but I seriously just can’t get that bathroom out of my head. Those bathroom designers seriously outdid themselves. I’ve never seen such an incredible, professional bathroom installation in all my years on this beautiful planet. It was just… wow. Completely breathtaking. It’s going to be hard to concentrate on this broadcast, but I’ll give it my all.
So, it seems that the preparations are going well. We’re setting up for an extended siege, but the reality is that this fight may be over much quicker than we are anticipating. We’re not really sure what tactics the Conclave of Mechanists are going to resort to, or how big their forces are going to be. All we can do is get ready for anything and retreat back to the bathroom bunker if necessary. Thank goodness for the team that gave us one of the best bathroom renovations Melbourne has ever seen! I mean, it’s just gorgeous. The tiles are incredible, the windows let in plenty of light and there’s even a spa bath. How good is that?
Dr Ratroti is telling me to get back on topic, so I better keep talking about what’s happening here. Oh, wait, hold on… Something is happening! We’re getting reports of Conclave foes tunnelling their way into the building, ambushing our forces from behind! This isn’t good at all.
They’ve totally caught us off-guard here, and now they’ve got troops charging from the front as well. There are projectiles flying everywhere, laser beams, fire blasts! It’s horrific, from what we’re hearing! Our forces are surrounded, but they’re fighting back. We’re not doomed yet, but this is definitely going worse than we were hoping for.
To all the Resistance members listening to this, give them everything you’ve got, and when you’ve got nothing left, retreat to the bathroom bunker!