Author: admin

Categories
Architects

Dream Brighton Home

It looks like there’s finally going to be a trend that means I may be able to afford a house one day. As a young person in my mid-twenties, I had removed the idea of me ever being able to buy a house from my mind. Unless you happen to land yourself an extremely high paying job or come from old money, buying a house is (was) an impossible dream. I say ‘was’ tentatively because although people in high positions are trying to make houses more affordable, I haven’t seen any proof of the change yet. But there is certainly hope, which is why I’ve started looking into a few residential architects for Brighton homes.

Brighton is my absolute dream place to live. I’ve never lived in Brighton before for obvious reasons, but it’s so pretty plus close to the beach and the city. I’d prefer to live in Brighton over popular suburbs like Hawthorn or Toorak, because although they’re obviously really nice, they’re not close enough to the beach for my liking. 

Essentially, my dream is to build my own house in Brighton. Architects love designing bespoke homes and I’d love for an architect to design a house that fits perfectly on whichever unique block I purchase. I’d love it if the architect could design my house so that the windows capture the most natural light possible, having lived in plenty of dark rental properties over the last few years of adulthood. Pretty much my dream is to be able to purchase a block of land, give the size of the block and my requirements to my chosen architect and let them design a house that I’ll love for the rest of my life. I wonder if that dream will ever come true.

Only time will tell whether or not the housing crisis will subside. I’m taking a “hope for the best, expect the worst” frame of mind.

Categories
Drains

No Plumber Here

I like to think of myself as quite an open minded person who is relatively happy to give anything a try. I’ve dabbled in a lot of things that most people would turn their heads at and I am proud of the fact that I’ve (so far) lived a very varied life. Generally, I want to experience everything life has to offer. There is only one thing that I absolutely will not have a bar of… and that’s plumbing or becoming a plumber.

I truly couldn’t think of anything worse than being a plumber. Aside from the fact they deal with literal poo on a daily basis, they also have to provide commercial gutter cleaning services which means getting up on large buildings and clearing out the gutters. They have to deal with drains that are blocked with God knows what and listen to people complaining about the fact that their hot water systems aren’t working properly. I just think it’s such a thankless job that it is absolutely not worth even trying just to say that I’ve done it. 

This might seem like such a random blog post for my followers. But it’s my blog and I like to use it to express what I’m thinking. Normally this would be some extremely excited and positive post about how good my latest experience has been (whether that be learning to cut hair, going snorkelling, riding a horse or anything for that matter) but because I’ve been doing some self reflection recently and I just thought I should acknowledge that I would absolutely never be a plumber who performs hot water repairs. Melbourne is littered with plumbing issues because of how old the city is, so anyone working as a plumber would be so overworked it’s ridiculous. If I’m going to be overworked I want to at least be doing something that one, isn’t disgusting and two, is enjoyable.

Categories
Car Servicing

Brakes Truth Revealed

‘Dude,’ I grimaced, as my best friend slowed down at an amber light. ‘Your brakes sound horrible.’

‘Ah, they’ve got a bit of life left in them yet,’ he shrugged. ‘I’m too busy to go to a mechanic.’

‘Do you even have any brake pads left?’ I frowned, glancing out of window like I was going to see residual sparks or something.

‘What do you mean?’

‘What do you mean “what do I mean”?’

‘Your brake pads don’t wear away,’ he frowned. ‘That’s silly.’

‘Uh…’ I frowned. ‘They 100% do.’

‘Pffft,’ he chuckled. ‘Next you’re gonna tell me the engine oil runs out too.’

‘You’ve never changed your oil?!’ I gaped, wishing I’d never gotten into this deathtrap of a car.

‘A joke is a joke, Brad,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘But you can’t make it so obvious.’

‘At least your mechanic tops it up every time you get a log book service. Lockleys mechanics follow log books to a tee,’ I muttered, more to myself than to him.

‘What’s that?’

‘I said—’

‘No, what’s a log book service?’ he blinked at me.

‘You’ve never gotten a log book service?!’

‘Why do you keep making that face?’ he frowned. ‘Everyone knows cars just look after themselves. That’s why they’re our best invention.’

‘First off,’ I glared, ‘everyone knows the printing press was the invention with the most significant impact on human knowledge and understanding.’

‘Fair call,’ he nodded.

‘Second of all – get your car looked at by a qualified mechanic!’

‘Woah, woah!’ he held his hands up defensively. ‘Relax would you?’

‘How can I relax, when you’d rather brake your car on bare rims than get a professional brake pad replacement!’

‘I told you,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘You don’t need to—’

‘Yes you do!’ I screeched. ‘That’s it, let me out.’

‘What? Brad, we’re in the middle of an intersection,’ he frowned. ‘It’s dangerous to get out of the car here.’

‘No,’ I shook my head and opened the door. ‘Trust me – it’s nowhere near as dangerous as staying in this thing!’

Categories
Cable Installation

My New Landline

Life is short but the ride is great. That’s what I need to keep reminding myself. Everything happens for a reason. Life can’t always be sunshine and rainbows but it’s the way we deal with the issues that come up that defines who we are. I could wallow in self pity because of what is happening to me at the moment, but every day I am actively choosing not to let it get me down. It’s not easy, let me tell you that – but if I dwell on this pain then I’m just going to be in pain all the time. Being happy is a choice and I’m making that choice. 

I haven’t always been this positive. In fact, it’s a really recent change. I’m glad that during my depths of despair I organised a professional to come to my house to perform a phone line installation. Local to Melbourne people don’t really use phone lines anymore, but they remind me of a time where I had very minimal problems. I’m nostalgic for that feeling of weightlessness, where my biggest concern was getting home from school in time to watch my favourite TV show. I didn’t have to actively work to be happy back then so I’m hoping that by simplifying my life, getting rid of my smartphone and just going back to basics, I help to improve my happiness. 

Anyway, it’s been really good having a landline. I can call my friends and family just as easily as I could with my smartphone, but now I have less of a reason to browse through social media before and after a phone call. It’s a lot better. I’m really glad that I took the plunge and invested in a landline. The communication cabling contractors who came to my house were super professional and clearly good at their jobs. It was obvious to me that they had done hundreds of phone line installations before.

Categories
Video

The Busy Marketers

I am a marketing executive of a major multinational corporation. I know that people like to think that office workers just sit around writing emails all day, but you really would be surprised by how much work is actually involved in my job. In fact, there is so much work that neither me nor my team is able to accomplish it all within the hours we are allocated each day. I am against taking work outside of the office and into my home, since I truly believe that a balance must be struck between the two. But because of this resolve, I’ve had to outsource work to a local corporate video production company. Melbourne is filled with these sorts of companies, but few can be considered really good.

The one I ended up choosing had to be at least as good as my in-house marketing team, and not to brag, but I’ve curated my team all by myself and it’s filled with some of the best talent you’ll ever come across. Handpicked from university graduate pools, poached from companies within the area, but ultimately all the best of the best. Yeah, I was convinced this marketing video production firm would have to be pretty good to even come close to matching my team’s talent.

But, I’ll tell you what, they do a very good job. Every single communication I’ve had with them has been friendly and professional. Every idea they have brought to the table has been approved by yours truly. When I first hired them, I was certainly expecting to be pleased. I mean, I wouldn’t have hired them if I didn’t think they could do the project justice. But, wow, I was not expecting to be absolutely blown away. I am definitely going to be suggesting this company to my boss the next time we have to make a video from scratch. It frees up time for my other tasks and still looks great!

Categories
Tattoos

The Magical Sketchbook

All I can do is gape at the tattooist. “This is nuts,” I say. “You’re nuts.”

We are alone in the parlour. The other staff and customers have disappeared so quickly it was as though they were never here in the first place. Even the hustle and bustle of the city street outside has turned quiet.

“I would like to leave this shop,” I say.   

The tattooist motions to the sketchbook. “We’re going to leave the tattoo shop. Brisbane, too.” He winced. “Well, technically our physical bodies are still here, but our minds will travel into the world of tattoos.”

“A world of your own invention.”

“Yes, one of my own drawings and sketches.”

I nod mildly, finally giving up looking around for an exit, and instead settle my attention on the man in front of me. If there is no chance of escape, my only choice now is to go along with him and hope for the best.

I force my face into a smile. “You’re the best realism tattoo artist Brisbane has to offer. That’s why I came here in the first place.” I take a deep breath. “If you say your drawings are magical, then I guess I can believe it.”

The tattooist claps like a cymbal-banging monkey. “Good, good! There is so much to do.”

He rushes over to the ottoman, where he laid the jet black sketchbook while talking to me. Even sitting there innocently, it seems to exude an otherworldly presence. But I can’t tell if I’m saying that because I want to believe in the magic myself. The tattooist kneels over the ottoman and begins rifling through the pages. There aren’t many of them, but each is filled from border to border with inky black sketches of towering castles with dragons soaring around them, and delicate cherry blossom trees swaying in the wind before a still lake. They’re intricate designs. And apparently, we’re going inside them.

Categories
Hardware

Hardware Store Ambush

They took a slight detour on the way to the building supplies, stopping by the timber at Vai’s request. Apparently, she had a cool idea for something she could build to fight off those hunting them, but she’d need a plank of wood in order to make it.

“Hurry up,” Maphira whispered, as Vai searched for the perfect plank of wood. “We can’t stay here long or they’ll find us.”

“Chill out, my dude,” Vai said, tossing another plank to the floor. “They’re never going to search this part of the store for us. There are plenty of reasons to come to a Cheltenham hardware store selling timber, but this certainly isn’t the best time. They’ll assume we’re literally anywhere else.”

Maphira looked up to the top of the shelves, spotting a shadowy figure moving up there. “Are you sure about that?” she asked, lunging forward and pulling Vai out of the way, just as the figure leapt down, right onto the spot Vai had been. They each rolled out of the way, but Vai quickly sprung back, swinging the plank of wood she currently held in both hands.

She struck the figure with a sickening crack – Maphira wasn’t sure whether it came from the wood or the man’s bones. He collapsed, instantly knocked unconscious. 

“Alright, point taken,” Vai said, tossing aside her plank of wood. She picked up another and gave it a quick look over. “This one will do. Let’s get out of here.”

“Good idea,” Maphira replied. “I have no desire to die in a hardware store in the Bayside area. We need to get to the building supplies before another one finds us.” Maphira glanced back at the figure on the ground. “Nice hit, though.”

“Thanks.” Vai grinned, although Maphira only just saw it through the flickering lights above them. 

It reminded her of the good old days, taking down bad guys together, back in the force, all those years ago. The thing was, those days had ended because of Vai’s betrayal. How could she ever forgive the woman for that?

She bit her lip and continued on.

Categories
Energy

Energy Expert Arrives

Maphira and Rylee had been going through the list of things she needed to collect from the hardware store when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs to the Resistance’s secret bunker. It had been a week since Maphira returned to the base, and she still hadn’t been able to get this small task done, with people constantly adding requests to the list.

The sisters continued going through it for a few more seconds, wrapping up, before they both turned to see who had entered.

At the sight of that face, Maphira felt herself boiling over with rage. She stepped forward, fist clenched and ready to strike, but Rylee held her back.

“Vai?” Rylee said, still clutching Maphira tight. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have a Conclave solar lease agreement to take care of or something?”

Vai fell to her knees in front of them. “I come before you humbled and humiliated. The Great Mechanist wants my head as penance for my failure with Project Bender. I have had to flee, else my life would be forfeit. I offer my knowledge of the Conclave as an olive branch, in the hopes that you will provide me asylum from their forces.”

Dr Ratroti paced over and considered Vai. “You were the director of solar power at the Conclave of Mechanists, weren’t you? Probably know all about their commercial solar battery layout and where Bender could be headed. Valuable information, indeed.” He turned to Maphira. “What do you think? You know her best. Is she just here to stick a dagger in our back at the last minute?”

Maphira grit her teeth. “I’m not sure, but I’m going to find out.” She stepped forward, Rylee releasing her, and grabbed Vai by the ear. “Come on, partner. We’re going shopping and you’re going to tell me everything you know about the Conclave of Mechanists, or else you can go back to the wolves for all I care.”

Categories
Heating

The Heating Argument

‘I don’t get it,’ I frowned.

‘What’s not to get?’ my roommate asked, frowning down at me. ‘It’s a heating service.’

‘Why do we need a heating service?’

‘General good upkeep of our home?’

‘But, isn’t that the landlord’s responsibility?’ I asked, craning my neck so I could see the TV around him.

‘That doesn’t mean we can’t be proactive!’

‘Actually,’ I yawned. ‘I think it does.’

‘Oh!’ he grumbled. ‘You’re impossible!’

I rolled my eyes and looked back at him, standing there with his hands on his hips like a sitcom villain.

‘What do you want to do exactly?’ I asked.

‘I just want to contact the best ducted heater servicing company around Canberra,’ he replied stiffly. ‘Is that too much to expect from you? A simple phone call?’

‘I guess not,’ I sighed. ‘Wait – why am I the one making the call?’

‘Because I have a very busy day, and as far as I can tell you’re not doing anything with your life.’

‘Excuse you?’

‘What is it today? Eating chips and playing video games?’

‘Actually I was going to take a nap before I get the chips.’

‘There you go,’ he grinned smugly. ‘I’ll get you the number.’

‘I’m not paying for this, you know,’ I called after his back as he swept out of the kitchen. ‘Especially if we need any sort of heating repairs. Canberra is an expensive city, you know.’

‘I think you’ll find that it’s more affordable when you have a job,’ he condescended, waltzing back into the room and shoving a neatly-torn scrap of paper in my face.

‘For me?’ I asked sarcastically.

‘Call them before one o’clock, would you?’

‘But that’s when I was going to have my nap,’ I frowned.

‘They’ll be busy in the morning with all the go-getters’ – he obnoxiously dusted off his lapels – ‘and all the layabouts will call in the late afternoon. No, one o’clock is where you will find results.’

I looked up at him, in his suit and bowtie, ready for his meaningless desk job, and shook my head.

Categories
Optometrist

X-Treme Eye Test

‘This is ridiculous,’ I grunted, slowing my steps. The Professor glided ahead of me in his wheelchair, turning slightly to look back at me.

‘Now, now, Scott,’ he said, with his clipped accent and smiling eyes. ‘We’ve been through this.’

‘I never said yes.’

‘But you wanted to.’

‘Stay out of my head, Professor!’ I growled.

He lifted his arms slightly in an expression of innocence.

‘No tricks, Mr. Winters, I assure you,’ he said soothingly. ‘I just know how it feels to be confronted with something terrifying and not be sure of the next step.’

I sighed and adjusted my red-tinted glasses, noticing how ever so slightly tense it made the old man.

‘No tricks, Professor,’ I smirked. ‘I assure you.’

‘Quite right,’ he nodded. ‘Shall we?’

He gestured for me to continue walking, and I settled back into a stride.

‘This is really the best place?’ I asked him, pointing at the building as we got closer.

‘Absolutely,’ he nodded. ‘I screened it myself.’

‘How?’ I frowned.

‘I had Misty accompany me,’ he replied. ‘For whatever reason, she insisted on taking their eye test in Bentleigh.’

‘That must have been a sight,’ I chuckled, trying to picture the cool-skinned woman I knew as a child.

‘Indeed,’ the Professor smirked. ‘Especially when she refused to leave until they gave her a lollipop.’

‘And you think they can help me?’

‘Them? Of course. It’s their job – though I would have personally gone with the best optometrist near Cheltenham, if you’d been willing to travel slightly further than just down the street from the mansion.’

‘I want it over with, Professor. And you know that isn’t what I meant.’

‘I can contain any… outbursts, Scott,’ the Professor grasped my elbow. ‘I promise. All you need to focus on is the eye examination.’

I took a deep breath and heard my leather jacket creaking.

‘Well then,’ I exhaled. ‘Let’s get this over with.’