‘Hmmmm,’ my girlfriend Lauren frowned, making a very specific sound for when you don’t have anything nice to say.
‘Just tell me,’ I sighed. ‘I can take it.’
‘I don’t think you can.’
‘It’s that bad?’
‘It’s worse,’ she shook her head. ‘Who told you it would be a good idea to have a dragon tattooed across your entire back?’
‘Nobody, like, told me…’ I said, thinking back to the tattooist located near Brisbane who had explicitly told me it was a bad idea. ‘It was kind of a personal choice, I guess.’
‘Yikes,’ she shook her head. ‘Not a great idea. Did it hurt?’
‘Not really,’ I lied. ‘I mostly listened to a podcast. Then an audiobook. I think people really need to hear about this George J.J. Nelson guy, he’s actually a really good—’
‘Cut the bull,’ she laughed. ‘Did you cry?’
‘Like the world’s most upset baby.’
‘That makes sense,’ she nodded, looking at my back again. ‘Honestly, James, what were you thinking?’
‘I thought it would be cool,’ I whined. ‘Isn’t it cool?’
‘No. No it is not.’
‘Dammit. Oh well,’ I sighed. ‘I guess I can just find a tattoo shop that does cover up tattoos near me.’
‘I’m sorry?’ Lauren almost choked. ‘Run that past me again?’
‘I’ll just get a cover up tattoo,’ I repeated. ‘Why? What’s wrong with that?’
‘Nothing,’ she laughed. ‘If it’s a little flower on your wrist or a word that’s spelt wrong.’
‘But my huge dragon…’
‘Will be with you until the day you die, yes,’ she kept laughing, wiping a tear from her eye. ‘This is honestly priceless.’
‘Well,’ I said, a smirk stretching across my face. ‘I do think you’re forgetting something…’
‘What?’ she frowned. ‘What could I possibly be forgetting?’
I leaned in close so I could whisper in her ear.
‘I’m not the one who has to look at it every day.’