I’m driving with no place to go. I have to clear my head because it’s filled with the sadness that’s swirling through my heart. My relationship is rocky at best and it’s making me really sad. I ruined my boyfriend’s favourite day of the year because I started crying at a party, and I actually feel really sick about it now. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t even know if he’s going to forgive me. Would I forgive someone for ruining my favourite day of the year? I’m not sure. I don’t think I would honestly. I am so upset.
I can’t believe I’ve potentially ruined our relationship. A relationship that I spent so long building. With the man that I love so much. Why would I do such a thing? I feel sick to my stomach about it. I genuinely needed to hang my head in shame any time someone asked my boyfriend about his weekend. It’s so horrible.
I only just got under tray tool boxes for utes installed in my boyfriend’s car for him. That was expensive when you take into account that I only work part time as a shop assistant. I got them installed for him because he’s about to start his apprenticeship and I really wanted him to do well. I love him and I want him to be happy. Love is so hard. I can’t believe how much my heart hurts. I just want us to be okay.
At least if we break up, he’ll always be reminded of me. Every morning he gets into his ute for her work he’ll see the fruits of my labour. That obviously makes me happy because I don’t want him to forget me. Hopefully the company that installs half canopies in Melbourne remembers me too, which means my memory will never be forgotten. Wow, I’m talking as if I’m dead. I kind of feel like I am – my body feels numb at the thought of losing my boyfriend.